"An unstoppable army of tribal lizard warriors, seething with vengeance and armed to the fangs with swords and axes, are poised to sweep across the lands of Pyrus, a place where both magic and psychic abilities have evolved as natural phenomenon. The Brothers of the Paranormal, a sect of benevolent psionic monks, discover that the lizard's aim to have their revenge on the old city of Port Packham. Against overwhelming odds, he resolves to try and use the monk's abilities to prevent the onslaught.
When Norris Bartlett, a struggling salesman at Worthington Galvanised Tubings, is accidentally transported through an unreality hole from his own world into this alternative existence, he becomes the last hope for the Port's inhabitants - and he only went in the kitchen to put the kettle on. He finds that he has to travel across the bizarre, pear-shaped world of Pyrus to seek out a mystical artifact that might save them all - the legendary Lost Pearl of Wisdom. But the Pearl been hidden by ancient priests and is guarded by an unspeakable horror - which is a pity since it remains Norris's only hope of ever returning to his own existence.
He's accompanied on his quest by Sister Rosehip, a novice from the Sisters of the Unexplained and Cadmus Catchwinkle, an arrogant, inept magician whose spellcasting ability is on par with a stuffed otter. Their guide is Garstang, a desperately inexperienced treasure hunter ("Tombs Raided While-U-Wait") who couldn't find a brick in a bucket. Armed with ancient maps, magical scrolls and Cadmus's copy of "Amateur Spellcaster", the group set out to return with the Pearl before the invasion begins.
Before long, the murderous army of lizards is at the very drawbridges of the Port and only old Captain Wetherspoon's small garrison of undisciplined soldiers and conscripts stand in their way. Unfortunately, the garrison's idea of a good fight was to see who could raise the white flag first.
In a spectacular and nail-biting climax, Norris discovers he's just a pawn in a much bigger game - a plan so audacious that it puts every world in the universe on the threshold of destruction – including his own.
Norris discovers that he's even worse at preventing universal cataclysms that he ever was at selling Galvanised Tubing. So when things start to go pear-shaped, Norris needs all the help he can get."
Mike Carterton, Resident Dennis Ellis Quinn Scholar
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Overall Review
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Plot
Composition of Book Descript. of chases or violence - 10% planning/preparing, gather info, debate puzzles/motives - 20% Feelings, relationships, character bio/development - 20% Descript. of society, phenomena (tech), places - 50%
Tone of book
- very upbeat
FANTASY or SCIENCE FICTION?
- part earth & part fantasy world
Tech./$$$/Info hunt
Yes
Stealing/recovering/destroying
- magical artifact
Parody
Yes
Is this an adult or child's book?
- Adult or Young Adult Book
Main Character
Identity:
- Male
Profession/status:
- small businessman
Age:
- 40's-50's
Is this an ordinary person caught up in events?
Yes
How sensitive is this character?
- middling sensitive to others' feelings
Sense of humor
- Cynical sense of humor
Intelligence
- Average intelligence
Physique
- healthy but a geeky weakling
Main Adversary
Identity:
- magical being
Has magical powers?
Yes
Magical/mental powers of main antagonist:
- can change shapes
- fire/thunder/weather cntrl
- telekinesis
- mind control
- can fly
- teleportation
- can cast all sorts of spells
Sense of humor
- Mostly serious with occasional humor
Intelligence
- Very much smarter than other characters
Setting
Terrain
- Jungle
- Mountains
- Forests
A substantial portion of this book takes place on a non-Earth planetary body:
- humans in a primitive/fantasy society
- humans in a contemporary society
- inhabited by friendly aliens
- unfriendly aliens
- neutral aliens
Planet outside solar system?
Yes
Style
Person?
- mostly 3rd
Accounts of torture and death?
- generic/vague references to death/punishment
scientific jargon? (SF only)
- none/very little science jargon needed
How much dialogue?
- roughly even amounts of descript and dialog