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Kirk blinked. He was on a hot desert plain, facing the Gorn. Its bright eyes glinted brightly in the morning sun, like two huge balls of crumpled aluminum foil. Above them both loomed the infamous jagged hills used in at least half a dozen "Star Trek" episodes. "Oh look, that's where I beat Finnegan in the 'Shore Leave' episode," said Kirk, crouching to the ground. "And that's where Spock and I caused an earthquake with our communicators in episode 23." But suddenly a voice got his attention. "We are the Metrones," he heard, from no where in particular. "We are a peace loving race who abhors violence in all its forms." And then, in an equally judicious voice. "But we will make an exception for bruising bipedal hand to hand combat on a small asteroid." The Metrons paused again, then continued. "We have provided the means by which each of you can destroy the other. The Gorn, for example, can pick up a rock and crush Captain Kirk." "And me? How do I stop the Gorn?" said Kirk desperately. "Well," said the Metrons, "You can get some sulphur, and some carbon, and some diamonds, and a long shoot of bamboo, and create a gun, ignite it, and shoot the Gorn." "That's hardly fair," Kirk pointed out. "We don't want to make it too easy for you, Captain Kirk. We have seen how easily you beat up aliens in other episodes. Good luck, and please try to survive to half time." "Wait!" said Kirk, as the Gorn approached, drooling and hissing. Later that day... Kirk fired the gun. He had just happened to find the sulphur, the diamonds, the bamboo, and the other materials. But he couldn't find the carbon. So he had hastily contructed a water mill near a stream and he had harnessed the power of the contraption to ignite the gun. The Gorn fell to the ground, stunned but not fatally perforated. Kirk climbed atop the Gorn, clutching a homemade sword he had manage to fashion using an amateur smitty he had constructed earlier. He raised the sword... and then lowered it. "No, I won't kill you," said Kirk. "Maybe you thought we were the invaders. Maybe, when you slaughtered our base on Zeta Beta Omicron Delta IV, you thought you were acting in your own self defense. Perhaps, when you lured my ship there and tricked us into beaming down and tried to destroy us as well, you thought you were only exercising legitimate defensive actions." "I won't kill him, do y'hear?" said Kirk, lifting his chin. This was unfortunate for him, for as he turned his attention away from the Gorn, the huge reptilian creature lept up and sprang against the hapless Kirk. Things might have gone ill for the valiant starship Captain had not the Gorn frozen, and disappeared. A Metrone appeared. Like most advanced aliens on Star Trek, he wore a no-frills robe. "Mercy, Captain. A most advanced trait." "We in the Federation do not like to fight." said Kirk. "We, like you, prefer conflict as a spectator sport." "Very good," nodded the Metron sagely. "Perhaps, in 10,000 of your Earth years...." "Yes, yes,?" said Kirk eagerly. "No... just a stray thought. Never mind," said the Metrone, thinking again. | ||||||||
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