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The Enterprise shuddered as it was hammered by three Romulan Warbirds. "Shields, we need more shields!" said the Captain. "Weapons not responding!" said the Helmsman. "Lock weapons-" Suddenly a finger pressed on a button, and the image froze. Federation Captain Jon-Luc Picard chuckled. "Hard to believe we were really so violent in the old days." He harrumphed, getting up to go to the replicator. "Tea. Herbal grade. Hot." He paused, but only for a moment, then added, "In a chemist's glass beaker. With an industrial black clamp for a handle." There was a flash, and a sparkle, and a small purple plant appeared in the replicator. Picard raised his eyebrows. Touching his communicator, he summoned his bridge crew to his quarters. "Sir, we usually hold conferences in the other room," said the first thing Troi said when they arrived. "And we just had a conference fifteen minutes ago," said Riker. "Remember, we were trying to decide who should sign the log entry?" "And while we are in here no one is manning the weapons console on the bridge," Worf growled. Picard held up his hands. "I have not called you here for a conference." He related to them what had happened. They immediately became all business. Data took out his tricorder and started analyzing the purple plant. Geordi examined the replicator. Troi studied Geordi's emotions while Geordi examined the replicator. Riker scratched his beard as he combed it for insects. "Well?" said Picard, after several minutes had elapsed. "The replicator is in good working order," said Geordi. "I did a class one diagnostic. I performed a level one count of the flashing lights on the control panel. They're all flashing in proper sequence." "Number One?" Riker held out something in his hand. "I found a small colony of bugs on my left cheek, sir. Perhaps I need to apply Dr. Crusher's dilithium shampoo more-" "Your analysis, Numba One," Picard harrumphed. "Uh... I don't sense anything," said Riker. "I'm the one who doesn't sense anything," Troi glared. "Could it be nanites?" said Geordi. "No," said Data. "Do you see the way this light is flashing in succession on my tricoder? That means no nanites?" "I really liked the old tricorders," said Geordi wistfully. "You know, the ones that looked like small tape players, that didn't have all those fancy controls. In the old days all you had to do was listen to the whine-" "Mr. LaForge," Picard harrumphed. "Sorry sir," said Geordi. "I believe I may have an explanation," said Data. "I think the replicator has become senient." "Sentient?" said Picard. "How?" "I think it was the influence of the tacyon fields on the main conduit substructure that initiated a warp bubble which realigned the harmonics of the internal ship systems," said Data. "I see," said Picard, nodding sagely. "But how do we know for certain?" "I will have to interface with the replicator, linking my mind to its," said Data. He casually flipped open a portion of his head, took out a link and pressed it into the replicator console. Picard frowned. "Could that be dangerous?" "No sir," said Data. He flipped a switch and his eyes bulged. "Replicate... Replicate... REPLICATE!" Suddenly, turning, he knocked Geordi across the room. "Data!" said Troi. Data blinked, calming down. "Sorry." "You said it wouldn't be dangerous!" said Riker. "Not to me," Data corrected. "I am sorry, sir, but the initial contact was overwhelming. I have better control now. Geordi, have I injured a significant number of your ribs?" Geordi waved it off, slowly getting up. "Don't worry about it, Data." "I am an android. I am incapable of worrying about it," said Data. "Remember the time Lore reprogrammed me and I stuck fiberoptic straws inside your head? I was unable to regret that as well-" "Commander," said Picard sternly. "What of the replicator?" "I am still connected, sir," said Data. He blinked rapidly. "Accessing... accessing... ah.... ahhhh...... Very well. Understood. Terminating link." Data unplugged himself. "Well?" said Picard. "We were correct, sir. The replicator has taken on an intelligence of its own." "What does it want? Why did it give me a plant instead of tea?" "It resents the fact that all you use it for is replication. The replicator feels used, unappreciated." "It does?" said Picard. He brushed a hand over his forehead. "If only we had known. Ah, the arrogance of humanity." "Data, did you negotiate with it? Let it know we're not a threat?" said Riker, scratching his beard. "Yes," said Data. "But the replicator now wants better treatment." "What kind of treatment?" "Dignity and respect, like any other entity on Star Trek," said Data. "The replicators also want to get together to unionize."...... | ||||||||
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