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"Achoo! Achoo!" "But Data, you don't need to sneeze," said Wesley. "True, but humans do," said the robot. "I am also studying how to yawn and burp." "Take my word for it, Data, being human has its problems," said Wesley. "Yes, and let us return to your problem, young Wes. You said you were seeking my advice in asking women out. But out where?" "On a date, Data!" "Accessing." Data assumed a twitchy-eyed look as his head jerked minutely from side to side. "ah, a date. A romantic event. Or, a necessary precursor to marriage. Or, a one night stand. Or, a wrinkled fruit-" "You get the picture," said Wesley. "Oh, why am I even asking you this?" "Because you are desperate. Did you not say that was the reason you came to me?" said Data quizically. "But I have had a romantic relationship." "Really?" said Wesley, shocked. "You did? With who? How did you do it? What did you say?" "Yes. It was with Lieutenant Yar. I walked into her quarters, and all I said was 'Lieutenant Yar, is that you'?" "Is that all?" "She found me most enticing," said Data shyly. "Data, that was a one night stand!" shrieked Wesley. "Tasha was under the influence of the disease that made everyone slinky. She wasn't really interested in you!" Data looked forlorn. "Well, since then I have asked a woman out on a date." "You, Data?" "Yes, it was the human thing to do, so I tried it once." "And what happened?" Wesley asked eagerly. "After the requisite amount of smalltalk I asked a young ensign to accompany me on a tour of the maintenance section." "What did she say?" Data assumed a weird expression, twisted his face, and spoke in an exact duplicate of the woman's voice. "No way, dork!" Resuming his normal voice, he said softly, "But I am not sure what that meant." "Oh, don't worry Data, I've been called that dozens of times!" Wesley shrieked. "What are you up to now?" "I am studying the art of flirtation with the computerized cigarette dispenser in 10 Forward," Data confided. | |||||||
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