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ST:TNG Monster in the transporter episode "I had to relieve Mr. Barkley of his command," said Counselor Troi, matter of factly. The senior bridge crew was in the briefing room, where they spent most of their time on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Picard raised an eyebrow, "You relieved him, Counselor?" "Captain," said Data. "Under Starfleet regulation 423.1, and I quote, 'The ship's medical officer is entitled to relieve any officer who is not medically fit for duty. Similarly, the ship's counselor is entitled to relieve any officer who is not sufficiently sensitive, or one who doesn't play well with others." "Hm," said Picard thoughtfully. Troi said, "Sir, Mr. Barkley imagined he saw an animal-" "He did," said Geordi. "I've just run a standard sequencing check of the transporters, checking the ionization of the particle beams from the matter stream in a closely correlated-" Riker's eyes began to glaze over. Worf started to play with his decorative shoulder band. The Captain, seeing that the conversation was going over their heads, cleared his throat diplomatically. "The PG-13 version, please, Mr. LaForge." Geordi shrugged. "I checked the transporter, and there's a monster in it." "A what?" said Troi. "A monster, Counselor," said Geordi. "Why must we call everything we don't understand a monster?" said Counselor Troi. "Well, it did attack Mr. Barkley," said Geordi. "Then we should use the starfleet term," said Deanna. "An unknown lifeform burdened with unproductive behavioral tendencies." Picard sat up in his seat. "Wait a minute. Are we dealing with a lifeform here? Why didn't anyone tell me this?" "Sir, I believe this is the subject we have been discussing," said Data diplomatically. "Well, then, are they a superior lifeform? We could learn some values or morals-" "Sir, it is an animal," said Data. "Well, a lesser lifeform," said Picard. "That brings the Prime Directive into play. We must cease interferring with it at once, while continuing to moralize from afar-." "But sir, that would mean continued nonuse of the transporters," said Data. "Oh," said Picard. "But that's entirely feasible," said Counselor Troi. "We can't use the transporters any more." Picard raised his other eyebrow. "And why not, Counselor?" "We are interferring with alien privacy rights," said Troi. "Just think, everytime one of us beams out, we're invading their habitat. How would you like it if aliens suddenly appeared in your bedroom?" Picard lowered his eyebrows, then raised them both again. "They have, Counselor. Let's see, there was Q, the lightning bolt creature, the aliens who made a photocopy of me...." | |||||||
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