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Remember Star Trek: The Motionless Picture? Captain's Log, stardate supplemental. We have penetrated the heart of the cloud known as V'jer, led by the robotic copy of our navigator, Lt. Illia. The probe threatens to destroy the earth unless it gets what it wants. But what does it want? "I believe I know," said Spock, studying intently the whine from his tricorder. "V'jer is looking for a date." "What????" said McCoy. "Consider, if you will, the following," said Spock. "V'jer has travelled the galaxy. It has seen and recorded sights and wonders that must be beyond our comprehension. But it's never had a date. Not even a one-night stand. V'jer is lonely, Captain." "So what do we do, fix it up on a blind date?" said McCoy. "And with what, our ship's computer?" "V'jer wants," said Illia, speaking for the first time. "V'jer wants... to date one of you." "One of us?" said Decker. Suddenly he gave a gleeful grin. "Captain Kirk, I think you're being paged." "Just one moment," said Kirk, holding out a hand. "Just what sort of date do you have in mind?" "We will be together," said Illia. "There will be a light, that will make your hair stand on end. Then you will be atomized, together, with me." Kirk cleared his throat diplomatically. "I'm afraid I'm a little old for that sort of thing. Hey, why not go for someone younger?" He turned to Decker. "Someone more gullible," added McCoy. "Someone more expendable," said Spock, pushing Decker forward. "Hey, wait!" said Decker. "Can't we talk about this?" The others started to push him forward. "Wait, wait, at least let's beam down some chocolates, some flowers, and do this right!" "V'jer does not need those," said Illia, as the lights started to form around them. "Come on, Decker, let us get on with this. There are at least three more probes waiting in line behind us to threaten your planet.".... | |||||||
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