PARODY: The Search for Odo's Nose, Part III
"Jake... put an extra serving on the table,"
said Sisco.
"Why Dad?"
"I've invited your prostitute girlfriend for
dinner," said Sisco.
"Marta? She's a Dabbling girl," said Jake.
Sisco gave a broad smile. "I just wanted a
chance to meet your hooker, son."
At that moment Marta appeared at the door.
Jake, frantic, made quick greetings, escorting her
to her chair.
"Good to meet you, Marta," said Sisco,
sitting down to eat with the others. "I've been
wanting to meet you for a long time."
"Same here, Commander," said Marta faintly.
"So, how long have you been a prostitute?"
Sisco asked.
"A Dabbling girl," Marta corrected. "All we
do is wait for the Ferengi wheel to come up at the
right number, and then we say Dabbo!"
"Really? Then it's true that your... clients
pay you 100 strips of latinum an hour to do that?"
"We provide support services, emotionally,"
said Marta. "It's all very intellectual. I'm
actually studying to be a nuclear physicist on
Bajor."
"Really?" said Sisco. "A prostitute becoming
a physicist, very intriguing."
"Dad, do you have to say that word?" Jake
pleaded.
"What, prostitute?" said Sisco. "Do you have
a problem with the word prostitute, my son? Then
how about lady of the evening, worker of the
oldest profession, Betazoid facilitator-"
Marta got up to leave, but Jake brought her
back.
"You don't know the first thing about my
relationship with Jake, all the good things I've
brought out in him," said Marta.
"Really?" said Sisco.
"Yes, Jake has become very artistic under my
influence. Show him, Jake."
"Yes, show me, Jake," said Sisco, watching.
"Well, I do a little poetry," said Jake
anxiously.
"Really? We must hear some!" said Sisco.
"After you and I and the prostitute finish dinner,
of course."
"I'm getting strange readings from the
runabouts," said Dax.
"Which one?" said Kira.
"Well, the Inca-Aztec is ok, but I'm getting
fluctuations from the Jimmy Carter and the
Ecobalance." Dax frowned, making some Cardassian
beeping sounds on her console. "I still can't
make sense of these readings."
"Why not?" said Kira.
"I never did get a chance to learn how to
read Cardassian," said Dax. "But you know, Booba
Dax did. The only problem with him was that he
had the Phage, and he kept going to pieces....."
"Enough!" said Kira, covering her ears.
Jake cleared his throat.
"Deep Space Nine."
"A circular structure in space."
"A metal beacon for the future."
"A rose, a bloom, set among the stars."
"A-nuf!" said Sisco. He turned to Marta.
"Prostitute, have you really been filling my son
with all this crap?"
"That's not all he can do!" said Marta.
"Jake, show him."
"Uh..."
"What we practiced yesterday!" said Marta.
"Show him!"
"Uh...."
"By all means," said Sisco approvingly, "Show
me what you and the prostitute were practicing
yesterday."
"Well, all right. Computer, light violin
music." Soft stringed sounds filled the air.
Jake stood up from the table, and lifted one
hand above his head, curving it slightly. Sisco,
intrigued, raised an eyebrow. Jake then lifted
one leg in the air and started to twirl it. Then
he started to prance around on tippytoes, doing
ballet kicks into the air.
"You've made my son into a girl," Sisco
marveled. "I've heard enough." He touched his
communicator. "Computer, engage Sisco program 14.
Beam this prostitute directly to the brig."
Marta shimmered, and disappeared.
"As for you, young man, there will be no
writing academy for you," said Sisco. "I'm
sending you to military school."
The next day...
"So who is the duplicate?" O'Brien wanted to
know.
"It's you," said Odo.
"Are you sure?" said O'Brien. "I don't feel
like a duplicate."
"Look what I found in a storage closet," said
Odo. He pointed to another Chief O'Brien who came
forward.
Dax opened her mouth in surprise. "But I
thought...." She led another Chief O'Brien into
the room.
Kira brought two more Chief O'Briens into the
room, and Sisco, making a rare appearance, said,
"Gentlemen, there's an army of Chief O'Briens in
my ready rooms."
"Where did they come from?" Kira asked.
"Who cares? It looks like we have a number
spares," said Sisco. "We can put them to work.
Gentlemen, you can start by making me a
sailboat...."
The End
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