Return to Star Trek Voyager main page Talk directly to Banana Torres (Belanna) 7 of 9 (Jeri Ryan) Captain Kathryn Janeway Trivia (click here): bjkYrNtFPAZuVrXxay Help rescue Captain Kathryn Janeway from slavery! (click here) TV-Commentary - Star Trek Voyager PARODY of the "sending letters home" episode     "So the Romulans in the alpha quadrant have agreed to take messages back to our families and loved ones," said Janeway. "Each of you should go to the holodeck to leave a message."         Harry Kim entered the holodeck. He looked around, to make sure that he hadn't been followed. "Computer, activate recording mode," he said.     Then, after looking around one more time, he said, "Momma! I miss you! Take me hoooommmme!"     Tom Paris sauntered onto the holodeck. "This message is for all my buddies at the rehab colony on alpha beta delta IV. Hey guys, how're you doing? While you're being strapped into one of those "Garth of Izar" rehabilitation chairs with the whining lights on the sides that make you susceptible to suggestion from our jailers, I'm out here piloting a star ship. Fantastic, isn't it?".....     "Hello wife, hello family," said Tuvok. "I of course may not show any emotion to the fact that we have been separated. I can say, however, that there would be logic for us to be reunited. My wife, I should also add that if in my absence, you mate with the plumack soup vendor that you have had your eye on, logic dictates that when I return I shall have to disintegrate him after pistol whipping him with a phaser."     "Hi guys," said Chickotei. "How are things in the Marqui? You know, I realize that if the Federation succeeds in getting you this message, you're probably in detention. Ha ha, that was a joke. Hope the Cardassians aren't being too rough on you while I'm away. But life is tough for me too. I'm first officer of a Federation ship, and I have to command several hundred people every day." He cleared his throat. "Well, that's about it... be sure to drop by, if you're in the neighborhood...."     "Hi, how are you," said Janeway. "I really miss you. It already seems like I've been gone years. I'm sorry I'm not there to be with you, and I hope to be back with you as soon as possible. I keep a picture of you by my bedside..." and her voice became choked up, "my... adorable.... shaggy doggie...."     "We cannot leave these messages with the Romulans," said Tuvok. He stood in the transporter room, with a phaser set on disintegration, pointed at their Romulan visitor.     "Why not?" said Janeway. "Because he's from our past?"     "Not only that," said Tuvok. "I have analyzed these messages and a number of them are whiny and unbefitting starfleet officers. For example, Ensign Kim was crying for his... for his Mommie."     Kim reddened.     "Tuvok, you have to get in touch with your sensitive side," said Janeway. "But I see your point."     She sighed, turning away. Now Rover would never get her message....     Click here to post a message        The commentator Dafydd posts on 5/22/2007 1:24:54 PM "Hi,Pa." said Naomi Wildman, "Mom told me a lot about you and she wants to see you again; so do I. "Things are bad on Voyager, the writers are replcaing me with a Westley Crusher Robot called Itcy Eecheb." Click here to post a message Other Recent Star Trek Voyager Discussions Did B'nana find her labor pains to be erotic? 5/11/2008 6:55:09 PM Seven of Nine - I dream of Chakotay? 2/3/2008 4:43:40 AM If one character had to be lost in a transporter accident… 2/3/2008 4:38:04 AM Why hasn't the crew mutanied against Captain Janeway by now? 12/16/2007 3:29:55 PM All the characters are Cylons 6/18/2007 12:37:25 AM How Gay is Neelix? 5/25/2007 9:57:14 AM PARODY of the "sending letters home" episode 5/22/2007 1:24:54 PM The political correctness of this show is maddening! 5/19/2007 5:25:38 AM Chako: Bad actor with bad writing, or just bad actor? 5/14/2007 5:13:26 PM Last Episode: A person marries the Doc? 4/2/2007 8:25:26 PM The very worst episodes of Voyager 2/9/2007 11:18:09 AM Why the 70,000 lightyear journey doesn't work… 12/30/2006 7:48:18 AM Why doesn't the Doctor make a backup of himself? 11/30/2006 10:03:06 AM Last Episode: 7 of 9 & Chako: Did Chako need an emotion chip too? 10/28/2006 5:11:19 PM The very best episodes of Voyager 10/3/2006 4:20:01 PM Last Episode: Unsatisfying ending? 9/5/2006 8:27:04 AM How come Voyager never runs out of anything? 8/30/2006 1:57:34 PM If they could use the replicators, why did they have to eat Neelix's crappy cooking? 8/15/2006 9:00:47 PM PARODY: The voyager home 6/5/2006 12:23:45 PM Captain Kathryn Janeway: Feminist role model for the 24th century? 6/5/2006 12:19:23 PM Why is Captain Kathryn Janeway only intimate with herself? 6/5/2006 12:18:35 PM Does Borg drone 7 of 9 have antigrav units in her uniform? 5/10/2006 10:13:10 AM Did B'nana always beat up Tom in bed? 5/10/2006 10:07:11 AM Tom Paris and the Hair Club for Helmsmen 5/10/2006 9:55:07 AM When did Voyager stop being interesting? 4/13/2006 6:10:55 AM B'nana's Klingon Abortion 1/11/2006 12:59:45 PM Why does B'nana feel the need to strip down so often? 12/14/2005 3:20:10 PM Last Episode: Who aged the worst? 9/28/2005 5:43:54 PM Why wasn't B'nana Torres visibly hispanic? 9/9/2005 1:39:53 PM Does Voyager support euthanasia? 9/5/2005 10:16:13 PM If Chakotay were a real Indian, wouldn't he have scalped Captain Janeway by now? 8/1/2005 1:41:54 PM Why would Tom marry B'nana? 7/29/2005 3:52:31 PM Last Episode: What's with the Batman technology? 7/19/2005 5:38:09 AM Could Voyager Captain Kathryn Janeway's Holoboyfriend get her pregnant? 4/22/2005 11:16:45 PM Note: the views expressed here are only those of the posters.

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